The Woods are Lovely, Dark and Deep

In traditional Jagger style, we were running late for our Father's Day celebrations. Try as we might, it always takes us forever to leave for anywhere. After church we got ready to head down to the Bob Jones Bike Trail in Avila, which is a lovely meandering path through a wooded area, ending right at the beach. It took us so long to get down there that when we arrived the parking lot was crowded and so was the trail, but mostly with people headed back the other way.

Our family rode our bikes all in a row, through the path, down to the beach.

 We played catch on the beach, watched our daughters run to the edge of the water and back. We walked to the end of the pier and then walked down underneath it, where we saw huge starfish on the pylons, as the sun slanted through the water.

 We followed this by a great dinner and some ice cream. By the time we finished, it was nearly dusk, and time to get back on the trail for the bike ride back.

By now, not a soul was on the trail except our family. We rode along quietly, enjoying the evening sounds of birds and the running brook beside the trail. The darkening woods surrounding the path made it so rich and still; it made me think of the line in the Robert Frost poem that says "The woods are lovely, dark and deep." Being with my family in the quiet made me feel so peaceful and content.

I thought about the verse in Philippians where it talks about the peace of God, and how it passes understanding. The peace I was feeling was so wonderful, but God's peace is even bigger than that.

Philippians 4:6-7 says,

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (NLT)

No matter what joys we know, God has something even better. He is worthy of such praise, and I am so filled with thankfulness that he is a God of peace.

Lord, thank you that we get a taste of what your kingdom will be like. Thank you for sweet times with our families, and that you enable us to feel a peace beyond anything we can understand. I praise you, and I love you.

Famous Last Words

There was a link online tonight about the last words of famous people, who knew they were dying. What a difference between the last words of believers and non-believers.

Joan Crawford (Mommie Dearest) yelled at her housekeeper for praying for her as she was dying, demanding that she not call upon God to help her.

By contrast, Mother Teresa's final words, so simple, were "I love you, Jesus, I love you."

Tammy Faye Messner's last words were "I'm in the hands of Jesus." During an interview with Larry King awhile before her death, she tells him she knows without a shadow of doubt that when she dies she will be in heaven with Jesus.

During their lives, and up to the very end, these women proclaimed their love and reliance on Jesus. He is our reason for life, and our reason for hope.


Lord Jesus, please help me to get rid of things in my life that come between you and me. Help me to know to the core of my being that you are everything. I know that you are all we need, our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Help me to proclaim your name and to give my life to you.

More than you can Dream

When we first moved into our house, there was a lovely row of mature cottonwood trees just behind our fenceline. These trees were one of our favorite things about our backyard. In the summer heat, the backyard was a good 15 degrees cooler than the front, and the shade was perfect for our little daughters playing on a hot summer day. We loved to sit outside and hear the rustle of the leaves in the breeze.

One day I came home to hear loud sawing noises from behind our house. I looked out the upstairs window, and saw that there was a crew of men methodically sawing down each tree behind our fence, until nothing was left but stumps. I broke into tears, and cried on and off for days.

Our once-pleasant backyard was now glaringly bright and hot, with no shelter from the sun. I couldn't understand why anyone would get rid of such wonderful trees, and there was nothing I could do about it.

But...

What we didn't know was that many of the trees and shrubs in our own yard had their growth stifled by all that lovely shade. Grapevines had gone years without growing more than a couple inches. With all the sunlight in the yard now, everything started to grow like crazy.

The grapevines shot up and over the slatted wood patio cover, covering the top completely, and produced a nice little grape harvest. The butterfly bush grew to immense proportions, leaning over at just the right angle to shade our porch swing. My favorite rose bushes produced the most gorgeous pink-and-white roses. And most delightful of all, a little cottonwood shoot from the tree stump made its way under the fence to our yard, where it grew like crazy, just in time for our growing daughters to have their own climbing tree. Our yard is shady once again, but this time from our own trees.

We spend lots of time in the yard now. The girls climb up our tree almost every day, hiding high up in the leaves, and my husband and I spend hours sitting in our porch swing, enjoying the shade and the rushing sound of the leaves and the mottled light dappling the ground.

I feel God so much in this gift. God wants more for us than to admire the beauty in someone else's garden; he wants to give us a garden of our own, to tend and to love. And he can take a loss and turn it into something better than we could dream.

God, thank you so much for the sweet gifts you give. Though sometimes losing things is painful and confusing, your hand is in the goodness that comes afterwards. Help me to trust you more during the difficult times, and rest in the assurance that  you cause all things to work for good, and that you answer prayer beyond what we can dream.

Because You're Worth It

"You deserve it." "Because you're worth it." "Visa--it's everywhere you want to be." Advertising is everywhere, convincing us that we're not enough, that we need more. And not only do we need more, but our culture tells us that we deserve more, that having more stuff makes us better people. So we spend and spend and are never satisfied. Our culture pushes us into this cycle of buying, but this is far removed from the treasures God has planned for us.

In Luke 12:15, Jesus says "Beware! Don't be greedy for what you don't have. Real life is not measured by how much we own."

Real life is not measured by how much we own. I think we all know that, and yet look at how many people seem to be living the opposite, measuring their worth by their possessions.

So how is real life measured? In Luke 12:21 it says, "A person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not to have a rich relationship with God." And later in Luke, Jesus reminds us that "Wherever your treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be." (12:34)

The world may try to sell us stuff, but these treasures are not long-lasting. The next time I am tempted to spend my money unwisely, I hope that I will remember these words, and know that nothing I own can give me real life. A deep relationship with God, and only that, is an eternal treasure. Because God is worth it, and his love satisfies like nothing else.

Lord, thank you for your words that free us from the things the culture pushes us towards. Let my thoughts and heart be with you always, knowing that you are the real treasure.

Go for Broke

Would you give up part of your last meal to a stranger?

I can't say that I would. Generosity is not always one of my strong points. Oh, I can be generous when I feel like I have a lot to spare, but when I feel my resources dwindling I tend to shut down on sharing.

That's why I was so amazed to read the story of the widow at Zarephath in 1 Kings 17. There we find a woman, a widow, living in the middle of a drought, with only enough food for one more meal for her and her son. That meal is all that stands between her family and death.

Along comes a stranger, Elijah, who not only asks her for water, but also for food. She explains how little she has. Elijah assures her that her food will not run out, that the Lord has promised that "the jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the Lord gives rain on the land." (1 Kings 17:14)

I'm not sure that I would be filled with faith at a moment like that. The widow had a son to feed, and there was barely enough for the two of them. Yet "she went away and did as Elijah had told her." (1 Kings 17:15)

Afterward, "there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the Lord spoken by Elijah." (1 Kings 17:15-16)

What if the widow had said no to Elijah? It would be understandable to not share your last meal with a stranger. Had she said no, she would have had one meal. But she said yes, and instead of just one meal, she had an abundance of food, enough for Elijah and her family for some time. This seems like a perfect picture of our loving God, who blesses more abundantly than we can imagine when we let go and say "yes."

Lord, reading about this widow humbles me. Please help me to overcome my lack of generosity. Help me to recognize those in need and to share willingly with them. Thank you for your abundant love and provision.

Never Pray for Patience

Maybe you've heard that you should never pray for patience, because God will put you in an abundance of situations where you can learn it. Doesn't that sound awful? I know it's not really true, but whenever I want to pray for patience, I start getting visions of jury duty, slow checkout lines, the DMV, slow talkers, and watching Fox News with my husband. Then I usually decide that I don't want to risk it.

The sad thing is, I really do need more patience. I snap at people I love when they are not moving fast enough for me. I don't understand how people can do just one thing at a time. Yet I've never prayed to be more patient.

Patience does seem pretty awful if you only imagine tolerating terrible situations as they drag on and on. But the verses in the Bible about patience paint a different picture.

Love is patient. (1 Corinthians 13:4)

Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus. (Romans 15:5)

Those who wait on the Lord (patiently) shall renew their strength. (Isaiah 40:31, parenthesis mine)

A patient man calms a quarrel. (Proverbs 15:18)

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. (Psalm 37:7)

I really had no idea that patience had such a positive side. I mean, I knew it was a virtue, but I thought that was just because you were suffering silently. These verses show me differently. Patience renews strength, calms quarrels, allows God to act on our behalf, gives us a harvest. Being patient means we are trusting God. And He is a God of patience Himself. How blessed I am that He is patient. What a blessing I could be if I were patient with others.

Lord God, thank you for your words in the Bible that help me to change my perceptions. Help me to become more patient person, and to understand that being patient means letting go and trusting in you. Lord, help me to be still in your presence, patiently awaiting your plans.

The Best Outfit

I love to try to figure people out. Do you ever do that? I love to observe and watch people's reactions to each other... maybe it's from majoring in counseling, I don't know. But one thing I have noticed over and over is that people can be very compassionate towards someone else's struggles when they themselves have been through that same thing.

Maybe you're having some big personal problems, or having relationship issues. Maybe you're stuck with a sin that you can't seem to shake. Perhaps you struggle with addiction, or depression. Someone who has been there before knows what you're going through. Those are great friends to have. They say things like "I've been there. I know how it is. You're going to be okay."

On the other side of the coin are those who have not been through what you are going through, and maybe feel free to pass judgement. They might ask why you haven't tried this or that to fix your problem, or ask how you even got there in the first place. After talking to someone like that, you might be inclined to heap even more judgement upon yourself.

Which kind of friend are you? Which kind of friends do you have?

I'm pretty sure I've been both, depending on the issue. But my prayer is that God would grant me the heart to be compassionate regardless of my thoughts or feelings. It is not my place to judge, but it is definitely my place to love.

Colossians 3:12 says this: "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

Clothe yourself with compassion. I love that. We are dearly loved, and therefore we are called to dearly love.

Lord God, please help me to love others the way that you love me, and to reach out to those who are suffering. Help me, Lord, to be gentle and kind in my responses to others. Grant me a heart full of love and compassion, overflowing.

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

Most of us, whether we have a paying job or not, spend quite a bit of time every day working. Even the first person in history wasn't immune from having to work. About as soon as he arrived in the Garden of Eden, Adam was charged with taking care of it. The Bible doesn't say what his attitude about work was, but I can't imagine him sighing heavily as he prunes the trees, wiping sweat from his brow, complaining to Eve that he just needs a break and a cold drink in the shade.

Fast-forward many thousands of years later, to my daughters. It must be tough to be nine and have your parents realize that you are now capable of taking on more and more household chores. The latest one that my husband and I added to their poor burdened lives is cleaning the litter box. Though they adore our cats, they do not adore this new job. We encourage them to head upstairs and get started. They grab some scratch paper and draw out their feelings for us to see.

We all have a good laugh, then send them upstairs to get the job done. One more drawing, and the slow walk of dread begins.

I wish they would just do their jobs without complaining about it.

But I don't do that myself.

I get so tired of doing the same things over and over... laundry, cleaning, making lunches, getting up early every day and getting ready for work. Planning meals. You know how it is.

And a lot of times my attitude kind of stinks, like the faces in the line drawings my kids did. I'm pretty sure it doesn't bless my family when I'm whining about making dinner.

That's why I'm drawn to Colossians 3:23(NIV):  "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Whatever I am called to do, I want to serve wholeheartedly. Lord, please forgive my attitude towards the things that I don't enjoy doing. Help me to see how those things can be a blessing to those around me. Help me to serve uncomplainingly and to find joy in that service.

The Christian Report Card

I've worked at schools off and on, and I've noticed something interesting. Often, the kids who are the worst behaved are also struggling with what they are supposed to be learning. If a kid doesn't understand math, it's much easier to goof off and be the class clown than to try to pay attention, get frustrated, and feel like a failure.

We like to do what we're good at, and what we're not good at, we avoid. (Exhibit A: I have not kept a checkbook register in years.)

So it got me thinking. There are times when I feel like I'm being a good mom, and there are times when I feel like I'm a good friend. But I'm not sure I've ever had the thought that I'm a good Christian. Even when I'm reading the Bible regularly, praying, helping others, avoiding the best-known sins, I still never think, "Whew! I've arrived. Now I'm a good Christian."

I realize this thinking is flawed, because we all know we can never measure up. That's where grace comes in, and I love that. The Bible is filled with examples of people who thought they were Good Christians (cough... I'm looking at you, Pharisees...) but we can see that they were filled with self-love and not God's grace.

This is a reminder to me that I need to see my faith as a relationship with God that is not a pass/fail situation. I wonder sometimes if I avoid God because I'm ashamed of not putting him first, and ashamed that though I love Him I often forget to include him in my life.

What I want to focus on is grace, and not a goal. Forgiveness, not failure. Relationship, and not report card.

God, it is when I fail that I can count on your grace and forgiveness. Please help me to remember that being a Christian is not like worldly pursuits of success. You are blessedly different. Help me to be refreshed in your grace today, Lord.

My Favorite Christian

During graduate school, I had a job working at a halfway house. Working there was possibly the scariest thing I have done in my life, but I do have some really good stories from that time.

In the midst of working with drugged out, clinically insane people, there was a bright and shining light named Bev. She worked in the halfway house doing clerical work, and she was a Christian. I was not. I knew she was a Christian within moments of meeting her because she cheerfully and constantly quoted scripture. There was one other staff member besides her who was a Christian, and the two of them left little scripture notes in each other's inboxes.

Bev was probably in her sixties, but her wide smile and overflowing Spirit made her seem much younger. One day she was walking around downtown San Jose (where we worked) and a carload of teen boys started harrassing her. They drove by slowly, catcalling out the window to her in language too rude to print here.

What would you do?

I probably would have turned and run the other way.

What did Bev do?

Bev ran straight towards them. She ran right up to the driver's side window, much to the surprise of the punk sitting there. He tried to speed up, but she was holding tight to the doorjam.

"Do you know what you need?" she panted as she ran alongside the car.

"What?"

"You need Jesus in your life." Bev kept running.

"Oh man, you're crazy." The boys finally sped off, leaving Bev out of breath at the side of the busy street.

Who knows what effect Bev had on those boys. Though it seems that they disregarded her, maybe at some level they were impressed that this lady took the time to treat them respectfully even when they had not done the same to her.

What would this world be like if every Christian was like Bev? Talk about being bold for Christ. Though I wasn't a believer then, I was in awe of her conviction. Lord, please help me to have the courage to be bold for you. Help me to share my belief with non-believers, not just friends who are already Christian. Help me to remember scripture, and to share it with others to build them up in your holy name.

The True Vine

Have you ever read something in the Bible several times and completely miss its point?

I've heard the verse so many times where Jesus says "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) In my mind I've always skipped over the meaning of this and just thought that God prunes the bad parts of me away, and leaves the good to bear fruit. But recently I was struck by how deep this verse really goes.

Jesus is the source of life, the vine that feeds the branches. If the branches are not part of the vine, they wither and die, but the branch that remains in the vine is fed from a wellspring of life that never ceases, and can bear fruit to show God's glory.

I used to think that this verse was about pruning, but now I see that it is about sustaining, about resting in Jesus, and trusting him.

There is not a lot of self-effort shown in this verse. This verse shows the opposite of striving and trying to direct our own lives. When Jesus warns "apart from me you can do nothing" we can take that as truth. Whatever the desires of our heart are, whatever fruit we want to bear, cannot be accomplished if we are not remaining in Jesus.

Sometimes I have to force myself to stop my strivings and my plans and make sure that I am resting in Jesus, trusting him to be the source of life. And that seems a lot better than my plans ever did.

Jesus, please turn my heart to you in all things. Help me to be still and to rest in you, giving all my hopes and plans to you.

When is it Enough?

Have you ever gotten sick of shopping?

For me, the novelty is wearing off. I used to passionately love to go shopping; to buy new things, to create more order in my house, to make it prettier.

Over time, though, I find that I'm not satisfied with most things I buy. Maybe it's that I didn't need them in the first place. Or maybe it's that I am shopping to fill a void that should be filled spiritually.

New stuff never quite satisfies. And anyway, I take great comfort in all the old things that I have. I love them a lot more than the new things. My old minivan, my soft sheets, the porch swing that my husband and I sit in most nights, these are so much more satisfying than anything I could buy from a brightly-lit store.

But beyond those comforts there lies an even greater satisfaction in knowing that I am a redeemed child of God, loved beyond measure. His Word beckons to me sweetly, calling me to come and be refreshed.

Lord, you are so mighty and amazing. Help my life to reflect your glory, and help me to rely less on what the world tries to sell. Help me to turn to you in all things, oh God.

The Tumbling Tower

The other day I watched a couple of middle-school students play a game of Jenga during class. (Yes, they could have been doing something more productive).

For those of you who don't know what Jenga is, you build a tower of blocks and then see how many blocks you can slide out before the whole tower falls down. Each individual block adds strength to the whole, so the tower is progressively weakened by each block that is removed.

As I was watching this, I was thinking about how this game looks like life as a mom, and also life as a Christian.

Sometimes my tower of blocks feels strong. When I'm organized, making time for my friends, eating and sleeping well, and exercising. As a Christian, I feel strong when I make time for God and can feel myself releasing my cares to Him. When I pray with fellow believers. When I listen for His voice instead of voicing my own.

But sometimes that tower can crumble.

Like an avalanche, sometimes bad decisions and bad habits pile up, and worldly life gets in the way of what I know is most important. At first everything seems to be going fine. One block gone... getting enough sleep. No problem, I'll just have extra coffee. No time to read the Bible. Gotta work on that, but no time now. One more block gone. I meant to call my struggling friend, but I just forgot. Another block, and the tower is looking a little wobbly.

Sometimes my tower will be wobbly for months before I finally get back on track and refocus on what I know is important for me, my family, and my faith. Other times I feel that it is on the verge of total collapse, and by then it feels too late to strengthen it in time.

As a mom and a Christian, I have such a responsibility to those I love to keep my blocks in order and strong, so that I will not be swayed by the difficulties that enter my life.

Lord, please help me to remember that what is most important is a relationship with You. You are my strength and my shield. Help me be strengthened in you so that I might be a light to others.

Fruity Goodness

Hiding in Galatians is one of the most lovely passages in the Bible... the fruits of the Spirit.

What amazing words. Love. Joy. Peace. Patience, kindness, goodness. Faithfulness. Gentleness and self-control. Against these things there is no law.

This is one of my favorite passages in the Bible because it reminds me of the ways that our lives can reflect God's glory. Though we all have trials, God can strengthen us and we can bear fruit, and in doing so bear witness to the mighty power of God, the same God who makes our ways perfect.

What a miracle to find joy in a storm. What a gift to be kind in the face of another's anger. What a treat to everyone around us when we demonstrate patience when it would be easy to be otherwise.

Acting in these ways, so contrary to our nature as fallen humans, is a true testimony to God's strength at work in us. Left to our own devices, we are much more likely to rely on less amazing words, which are found in the passage just before the fruits of the Spirit. Words like envy, impurity, hatred.

Lord, I belong to you. I am in awe of the depth of your goodness. Help me to live by the Spirit and to align my desires with your will. Help me to turn from my sinful nature, and turn fully to you.

It is God who Arms me with Strength

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." 2 Samuel 22:33

When I read verses like this, I feel a deep grief that I did not grow up as a Christian. How many problems could have been avoided if I had the Lord in my life? If I knew his word, and could call on it in times of trouble?

Lord, your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. (Psalm 119:105)

I walked through darkness for so many years, only dimly sensing that there was something brighter. I relied only on my own strength. My way was not perfect. My path was crooked. I was on my own.

But the verse in Samuel doesn't say "He makes my way perfect if I grew up as a Christian." My meandering path through troubled times can be redeemed by Him even though I didn't know Him then. He makes all things work for good. (Romans 8:28)

I can trust God with my path, because he is my strength and my redeemer. He makes my way perfect, regardless of where I have been. Praise you, Jesus, for saving me.

Being in the Light

What reassures you?

For me, it's light. From twinkling white Christmas bulbs to the sun dappling through the butterfly bush, light breaks through the darkness and reminds me that the light is victorious. Light wins.

When things are at their darkest, I am reminded that we know the end of our story already... the Light of the World is victorious. All darkness that we experience will someday fade away as we spend eternity basking in God's glorious light.

I have been stuck in dark places, but I reach out to the light. In our backyard, our grapevines grow in crazy directions, sticking out every-which-way so that they can spread their leaves and get as much light as they can drink in. Father, help me to reach up to you with open arms, free from shame, drinking in all your glory and brilliance.

I wanna be in the light
As you are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh, lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light
---DC Talk "In the Light"