I've worked at schools off and on, and I've noticed something interesting. Often, the kids who are the worst behaved are also struggling with what they are supposed to be learning. If a kid doesn't understand math, it's much easier to goof off and be the class clown than to try to pay attention, get frustrated, and feel like a failure.
We like to do what we're good at, and what we're not good at, we avoid. (Exhibit A: I have not kept a checkbook register in years.)
So it got me thinking. There are times when I feel like I'm being a good mom, and there are times when I feel like I'm a good friend. But I'm not sure I've ever had the thought that I'm a good Christian. Even when I'm reading the Bible regularly, praying, helping others, avoiding the best-known sins, I still never think, "Whew! I've arrived. Now I'm a good Christian."
I realize this thinking is flawed, because we all know we can never measure up. That's where grace comes in, and I love that. The Bible is filled with examples of people who thought they were Good Christians (cough... I'm looking at you, Pharisees...) but we can see that they were filled with self-love and not God's grace.
This is a reminder to me that I need to see my faith as a relationship with God that is not a pass/fail situation. I wonder sometimes if I avoid God because I'm ashamed of not putting him first, and ashamed that though I love Him I often forget to include him in my life.
What I want to focus on is grace, and not a goal. Forgiveness, not failure. Relationship, and not report card.
God, it is when I fail that I can count on your grace and forgiveness. Please help me to remember that being a Christian is not like worldly pursuits of success. You are blessedly different. Help me to be refreshed in your grace today, Lord.
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